If you live in any Southern State, you’re probably familiar with hearing this phrase almost every day. People of all ages and genders in the South often use it, and it’s seen as a classic example of social commentary—something that can be personalized in many ways.

For instance, you might say: ‘Bless her, his, their, and your hearts.’ This phrase is a way of expressing your thoughts, which could be anything from: “That’s the ugliest dress I’ve ever seen” to “That house is painted the worst color, ever.” The key is to quickly add the “Bless” word, which gently softens your comment and keeps everyone feeling good.

Living and learning in the south is a challenge, especially for a boy born and raised in San Francisco. However, after 20 years here, I have been able to blend in quite well.