There’s a squirrel that treats my bird feeder like an endless buffet. For the past few seasons, he (or she) delights my neighbors, irritates me to no end, and shows no sign of moving to another location. I’ve tried everything to stop it. I’m on my third squirrel-proof feeder. I’ve moved the supporting pole at least five times. Nothing keeps this persistent squirrel away.

I’ve considered firearms (a poor choice), traps (not very humane), and, most recently, a slingshot. I was almost convinced to try the slingshot until I realized I last used one probably in 1950. So, that plan fell through. I admire the animal; the other day, I looked out the window, and it was surprisingly balancing against the feeder, with its whole head in the basket.

My neighbors enjoy watching the animal’s efforts and my attempts to stop them. They’ve sent me photos, text messages, note cards, and alternative feeder solutions to remind me of my failures. A few days ago, while walking through a feed store, I thought: “Ok, I need a positive solution to this problem.” So, I bought a 50-pound sack of bird feed. That’ll keep it (and my neighbors) happy for a while.