My neighbors probably had one of these.

I live about 4 miles from one of the largest nuclear facilities in the United States—a place that helped develop the atomic bomb and now hums along with cutting‑edge nuclear research with the fastest computer on earth, “Frontier.” It’s the kind of place where people casually discuss particle behavior over coffee like it’s the weather report, and many of my friends are retired from the “Lab,” as it’s affectionately known.

My own “scientific” career peaked around age 10 with a chemistry set in the kitchen, where my most notable experiments took place. This episode involved a mysterious vial of liquid catching fire on the table and me bravely extinguishing it with the back of my mom’s favorite hairbrush. While my neighbors were refining nuclear science, I was refining new ways to ruin household items,

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